just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
