we have pet lesbian snakes
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
