I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
