break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
