im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think your dad took our porno
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
