I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
