if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
