got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
