when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
