Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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