You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
