After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
