If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
