Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
