But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
