I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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