i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
