she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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