office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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