I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
