I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
