there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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