I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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