Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
