it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
