i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
