Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
