just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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