Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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