you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
