Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
