his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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