normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
