i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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