Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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