Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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