you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize