you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
