Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize