sarcasm needs its own font
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
