Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
