Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
