So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
