its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize