So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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