well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Please don't give away my fajitas
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
