I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
