That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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