this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
