Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
