Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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