Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize