Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize