Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
