Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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