Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
