I wish I could teleport
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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