oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
