This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
