ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
